3/10/11 Taunton Town 2-1 Bath City (SPC) - Peacocks Rule Over Romans!

So after an extremely bland performance at Lincoln, the next challenge was to overcome an away trip to Taunton Town in the Somerset Premier Cup.  Could this be the game that turns our season on its head?  First win of the season? The chance to really dispatch a team?

 Taunton Town FC Facts:

· Taunton Town currently vacate 14^th place in the EvoStik Southern Division One South and West (What a mouthful!).  

· Average Attendance- 201

· FA Trophy Winners in 2001 after beating Berkhamstead Town 2-1 in the final.

· Their nickname is ‘The Peacocks’.

· Taunton Town Defender Chris McGrath is the son of former Aston Villa legend Paul McGrath widely recognised as the greatest ever player to come out of the Republic of Ireland).

The dilemma of wearing shorts or trousers was the first problem I encountered before the trip. After asking my dear mother her opinion, in which she said trousers, I decided to wear shorts.  Soon after, I picked up my backpack filled with a flag, ipod and deodorant and proceeded to walk to the home of football, Twerton Park. Deciding to leave early (4.15) was a wise decision as it was HOT HOT HOT. Soon enough though, at 4.50, I had arrived at TP where I met 9 other crazy fools who were making the trip d’an saff. After an interesting discussion on what parts of the ground had been recently painted (or pissed on if you’re a Southport fan), the coach arrived and picked up the merry bunch. An uneventful trip down followed, but only after picking up a couple more fans  and the City goalkeeper’s dad. Talks of making our own phoenix club called Bath Albion FC and a couple of wrong turns later and we had arrived at the brightly lit Wordsworth Drive.

 I walked over to the turnstyles and handed over £7, a cheap price to pay to watch City absolutely SMASH a lowly Taunton Side. The ground was a tidy one, with 2 covered ends and a covered seated stand running along the side of the pitch. Tarpaulin and scaffolding was covering the previous bar, which sadly burnt down in July due to an electrical fault. (Below)

The smell of a typical non-league burger was overpowering and I felt myself drawn towards the burger van tucked behind the ground in the car park. I parted with £3 in exchange for a cheeseburger with some mushrooms and onions. T’was an absolute monster of a thing and was probably worth about half of my calorie intake for the day. So as I tucked into half a cow’s leg in a bun, I turned around and I saw what was to be, the most amazing portable beer van I have ever seen!

This beer van was just a little longer than where I’d just bought my burger from, but it was decked out with 2 flat screen televisions showing music channels, silver cupboards and cabinets and lights that smothered the van in a pink and blue. I was instantly brought to a 70s nightclub with a Hawaiian twist with fake pineapples  cleverly placed around the bar. It was incredible! All it needed was a glitterball, Hawaiian hula girls and Charlie Sheen snorting some coke in the corner. My cold turkey idea had gone completely out of the window as I felt obliged to purchase something.  Thatchers gold was on the menu and I could not resist, but I was also fully expecting a complimentary flower garland to put around my neck.  (No picture but below is a fair representation)

 

I was soon joined on the terraces by a city fan who is based in Taunton. A properly nice chap, but his stories about his banning orders and his county football experience would easily send you and your children to sleep at night. Anyways at 19 he helped me reduce the average age of the city following to about 86. I was having a cracking night so far, and the football massacre I was about to witness hadn’t even started yet!

Adie Britton fielded an unbelievably strong side for a county cup match! The player’s wages combined could probably send a couple of the Taunton lads to Las Vegas for a few days, with some pocket money to spend in the casinos. But as the game started, Las Vegas was also the venue where a couple of the city players wanted to be at the time. We stroked it around nicely but with very little intent. Taunton only having chances due to defensive mix ups, not through their own personal quality. Young Josh Egan and old Scott Murray looking like the only two players that actually fancied putting in a decent shift (Also Jim Rollo and Stonehouse). They both unlocked the defense on numerous occasions but in the box there was no finisher, no poacher, no fox in the box.* Talking of fox in the box, Jamie cook was having another terrific game! No longer did it look like he wanted to be at home, playing Mario-kart, with his old Crawley team-mates. The desire he had was incredible, he was a changed man!  He will cover every blade of grass on the pitch as he hunts down the ball like an overweight kid searching for that last freddo his folks have just hidden.  It was just a shame that he couldn’t score, again*. Anyway the first half came and went with very little action. The massacre I had predicted was obviously going to happen in the second half!

 

Before the second half got underway, there was time to walk around the other end of the ground and put up the one flag I had brought along with me. A couple of minutes later, the players started to walk out onto the pitch and I could smell goals galore for the mighty stripes. Kicking downhill in the second half we started promisingly and chances were coming thick and fast. Then it came, the goal which was going to be the catalyst for about 10 more to fly in. The ball rolling around the penalty box like the ball in the pinball machine, where it finally fell to Josh Egan who rifled it into the net! GOAAAAAAAL. For the first time this season, Bath City were leading a game! The players were quick to run over to the tireless Egan as he was on the floor complaining with cramp, (Yes apparently 18 year olds can get cramp 60 minutes into a game). He was then replaced by first choice winger Marley Watkins (such strength in depth!). As he departed he joked with the fans, that he might play for the yooof team now he’s had a good game. His dad had a smile like a Cheshire cat next to us.

As I waited for the massacre to arrive, the Taunton based city fan and I wandered around to behind the dugout to hear what the management had to say. Not a lot was the answer. The only noise being Sean Canham, who rightly subjected Egan to some banter for getting cramp at such a young age. Still waiting for the massacre, Taunton somehow managed to win a penalty. The keeper, yes the keeper, then ran up the pitch, stepped up to take it and hammered it into the top corner! The keeper as it turned out wasn’t a José Luis Chilavert but turned out to be a striker that was obviously handy in goal too. The embarrassment was too much to handle. It only got worse as well! 5 minutes later into the game the ball dropped to a Taunton player on the edge of the box, he then gave it the same treatment as the penalty taker and smacked it top bin, leaving our second choice keeper well beaten. The massacre was just a little off track, I was still confident we could turn it around. The opportunity then flashed before us, a penalty shout turned down. An unbelievable decision! The Taunton defender almost picked up the ball with his arms and gently placed the ball out for a corner.  The fans, management and players couldn’t quite believe it!  That incident summed up the lack of luck we have had all season. The game soon fizzled out, and it finished…yes…2-1 to Taunton Town! The old cliché ‘concentrate on the league’ came to mind, but we’d just lost to a team 3 leagues below us. The players walked straight down the tunnel giving no thanks to the support they received tonight, leaving us to walk around the pitch, back to the coach parked in the car park.

Walking around the pitch we bumped into the city Chairwoman and director who almost smiled at the result- put it this way the fans didn’t quite agree with their views on it. So we walked off in disgust. As I was saying my farewell to the ‘Taunton Exile’, his delighted father (a Taunton fan) couldn’t help but rub it in. I smiled and nodded, but really I could have fallen on my knees, cried and begged him to stop.

Anyway an uneventful trip home followed and I got home about 11.30pm.
Cost of trip- £27. Still cheaper than the premier league.
‘Terraces not Armchairs’

*This was complete sarcasm. Jamie Cook couldn’t give a monkeys and is clearly just taking the wages from the club and using it to fund his love for the Nintendo Wii and golf.

Next Game: Bath City vs Darlington 8/10/11 (BSBP)